A Reminder

A friend of mine, Jeremy Spring,  posted a blog earlier this week that serves as a good reminder to all of us and I thought I'd share it.

It’s A Miracle.

Here in 2010 many of us have trouble believing in an all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving God because of how much science and industry have developed humanity in the last hundred years. Some of you may think that the people in ancient times would have had no problems believing in God because their minds were primitive and did not have the luxury of the scientific method that we now enjoy. Perhaps you’re convinced that those simple folk had no explanation for many things in life, so they just invented religion to cope with their circumstances. No, they reacted the same way us modern thinkers do; some believed their eyes, while others did not. I think we forget that the people in the Bible were real men and women, with real problems, real struggles, real doubt, and real faith.

Since there is no empirical evidence that God exists, (keep in mind there is no empirical evidence that He does not exist either) most folks just figure that if God were real, He would just show up and tell us the truth Himself. You see the thing is this; He already did that, and it did not pan out how you and I would think it would. 

Twelve men walked side by side with Jesus for three years and were eyewitnesses to Him performing miracles, dying on a cross, and defeating death through resurrection. But then at the end of Matthew’s gospel, the disciples meet the risen Christ on a mountainside and while some worshiped Him, others doubted. Miracles are not easy to believe, even when you are looking them straight in the eyes or touching them with your own hands. The miracle of Christ’s resurrection is a cornerstone of the Christian faith, but I can see why people have a hard time believing it. If Matthew admits that eyewitnesses had trouble believing it, then of course we are going to have some skeptics a couple thousand years later. Be encouraged though my friend, that even these men who doubted Christ to His face went on to build His church from the ground up, many becoming martyrs for our faith. It may take some time, but be patient, do not give up, because Christ can handle your doubt with care and He is not finished with you yet.

Jesus never used miracles as magic tricks to impress the public or coerce the masses. He was not in the business of changing minds, but transforming hearts. His miracles did not simply lead to a cognitive decision to believe, but to worship, to awe, and to wonder.

Our modern brains think of miracles as the suspension of natural order, but Jesus meant them to be the restoration of the natural order. The Bible tells us that God did not originally make the world to have disease, hunger, and death in it. Jesus came to redeem where it is wrong and heal the world where it is broken. His miracles are not just proofs that he has power but also wonderful previews of what he is going to do with that power. Previews at the movie theater are often my favorite part, I love getting a foretaste of something great to come. Miracles are not just a challenge to our minds, but also a promise to our hearts, that the world we all want is coming.

Everything sad is going to come untrue and all the might-have-beens will be.

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More Poems/Possible Song lyrics

"An Answer"
There you are, oblivious of it all
Waiting for all of your chips to fall.
Somewhere there's gotta be an answer.
To fix in me what is unsure.

Let me love you til your next breath.
It's a promise that's meant to be kept.
My heart's waiting for you, however long it takes.
To get to where you are, I may make some mistakes.
With every fall, I'll fall closer to you.
Just tell me, you're falling too.

We're seconds away from each other
Time is starting to become a bother.
Taking it away from me.
Trying to learn to be.

Could I be an answer to you?
Questions continue to change the view.


"Change Me"
Tired and worn out, from the bitterness.
Waking up and feeling it, inside my chest.
Adding weight to each step.
I can't even rest.

Change me for the better. Change me for the best.
Come and make me a beautiful mess.
A show of colors in a fractal.
Break down this rough wall.
You've got the tools in your hands.
Making sure nothing else stands.

Tumbling into the darkness, from a fall.
Scared of what's coming next, I can't even crawl.
Shed a light in here.
Wipe away my tears.

Help me, I'm losing touch.
I want You to be more than a crutch. 


"Bring Me Closer"
I wanna be where you are.
Up above all of the stars.
Take me away from this.
It's more of a hit than a miss.

It's you I want to look for.
The one I want to adore.
Bring me closer to you.
Closer than any other two.
Bring me closer to you.

Sitting here, feelings of isolation.
Not sure where's the communication.
Speak to me, the words of understanding.
I need to know what needs withstanding.

Out of this place, with my head held high.
Some things may need a retry.

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Consistent Thoughts

"Don't Follow Me"

Going to face this head on.
Loneliness will be my friend for a while.
Walking on a tight rope
That's angled on a steep slope.


Persistency is key.
Knowing I'm gonna fall.
I'm gonna climb back on
Til the return of the Son.


Don't follow me here,
the view isn't so clear.
I need to find my advocacy.
Time will pass before you see me.


I'll resist what I can, with a helping hand.
Don't worry about me, just let it be.


"Better Than Ok"

I don't remember falling so hard.
The ground I walk is rougher than it seems.
Searching for safety among this war.


I wanna be doing better than ok.
Tired of just feeling fine.
This time, it's gotta be different.
Flaws are not in my design.


Creatures in this mirror
Are poking at the fear.
Oh father, how I despise you
Never telling me what is true.


This armor is receiving dents close to the heart
It may finally be time for a fresh start.
Tired of being torn apart.



"Far From Here"

Walking in this room
Not feeling the mood.
Thoughts of despair.
Is anything fair?


Can this be a dream?
Something other than what it seems.
I want to wake up somewhere else.
I'm growing tired of myself.
Is it too much to ask for help?


Nightmares invading my sleep.
Waking up in the middle of a weep.
Pain taking over in my chest.
Taking over and causing unrest.


Far from here, is where I wanna be
Home isn't feeling like home to me.

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It's All About Him!

Today I read a piece of Scripture that hit home, but then also reminded me of the two times that I heard parts of it and where I was at life. The piece of Scripture is John chapter 5. Basically in the beginning, it's about a man that was paralyzed and was set on a "bedroll" as The Message puts it. He had been there for 38 years and Jesus asked him if he wanted to get well. Well Jesus healed him and told him, "Get up, take your bedroll, start walking." When I first heard this piece of Scripture, we (our BreakThrough group) were talking about how we can now be "wounded healers" according to what one of our Teaching Assistants said. Jesus told that man to take his bedroll and start walking. He wanted the man to walk and have his bedroll to show everyone that yes he had been wounded for most of his life, but he was healed and he now has his story to share to everyone so that they may be healed too. It so wonderful how that worked out.

Unfortunately, after this had happened the Jews got very angry at Jesus because He had healed this man on the Sabbath. But Jesus told them, "My Father is working straight through, even on the Sabbath. So am I." And because He said this the Jews were set out to kill Jesus because He compared Himself to God, and that wasn't right in their book. I didn't realize that just "working" on the Sabbath would get you killed. That just baffled me. I agree with Jesus 100%, I truly believe Papa rested on the Seventh Day, but that doesn't mean He doesn't want us to continue to have fellowship and continue to "heal" one another. We also shouldn't have just one day a week that we feel like we "have" to dedicate to fellowship. Why can't life just be our fellowship. I truly believe that Papa wants us to have fellowship in any form we can do it.

Another part of this Scripture that I really loved was verses 39-40 which was, "You have your heads in your Bibles constantly because you think you'll find eternal life there. But you miss the forest for the trees. These Scriptures are all about me! And here I am, standing right before you, and you aren't willing to receive from me the life you say you want". After reading this, all I could do was smile and say "wow!" It really is all about Him. It's not saying you shouldn't be reading the Scripture, but it's saying we get so lost sometimes in the words that we forget what is known from the start. He is here, in us, with us all around us. The Scripture is all about Him, and we cannot live eternally and understand the Word without an intimate relationship with Him. That's what He wants.

I pray that I am doing a good job explaining this, and I pray that you remember that it is all about Him. He is always there for you, and will love you always.

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A few new ones

"No Part of This"
Lost in my own element
Where am I? Who are these people?
Shells and skins in this room
Is this where they'll lay my tomb?


This isn't making much sense
Feeling the hopeless pity
It's all making me sick
Is this what we've become?
I want no part of this.


Looking in the mirror
Seeing a blurred reflection
Am I just a shadow in here?
This is one of my deepest fears.


Praying for a light in this place
Please give me the needed grace.


"You're Not Alone"
Go on, get up and dust yourself off.
You gotta try it again.
It's ok, you tripped and fell.
This is a trial of men.

Don't be afraid to look around.
I'll pick you up when you're down.

In the times like these,
I know you are afraid.
Just look at me and what I've made.
Standing there in your mess
It's alright, you'll make it home.
Just remember you're not alone.

You are all I need.
Your love is so much more.
I'm desperate for You.
Are You sure I'm worth dying for?

Now I take a look around.
You're more than just renown.


"Defining Me"
I'm looking for the answers
can't find it here.
Do I really want it?
Could it be what I fear?

Staying up,
contemplating my thoughts.
What happened?
Where did I go?
This is what I've fought.

Defining me,
is only up to myself.
There's an answer
on my own shelf.
I just have to reach
farther than comfort.
Will you help me?

Looking around
hearing the sounds
so delicate to my ear
I need to face that mirror.

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First Gig

So, as some of you may know, I am a musician. As being a musician, most of them have concerts or "gigs". Well, as of Saturday, I have had a gig. I was asked by the pastor of a Methodist church down the street to play a few songs. When I got asked to do it, I thought about it, for like a second, and was like "yes". Now, if I would have been asked this around 6 months ago, I would have had to think about it quite a bit, and probably come up with some "excuse" as to why I "couldn't" do it. But, now, being where I am now, knowing that I am a wise confident man of integrity, I knew I could do this. I'm not saying I didn't have some of those old "excuses" floating in my head, or that I wasn't nervous/anxious about it, but I used the tools that I have received over the past couple of months and kicked those things aside, and said "I'm gonna do this" and jumped in with both feet.

After being up on stage and getting to experience that, I've realized that, it is for sure something I want to be a part of. I had such an amazing joyful feeling take over me while I was on that stage. Yes, only around 13 people showed up, I still thought it was awesome that I had a chance to do this. I felt so privileged to be there, in that moment. I remember being up there just praying that Papa helped me get the most out of it, and to not lose sight of Him. I wanted people to get the view of Him that I see in the music that I play.

Although the songs I played were not my own, they were still songs that I had an emotional attachment to. I'm working on my own stuff and I have several written songs, but they just don't have music along with them. But, I know that Papa is helping me get better at that. Anyway, the last song I played was a song called "Dirty And Left Out" by The Almost. For any who don't know it, it's basically about the our struggle with being in relationships with people, and God and Jesus. It talks about how "I've been dirtier than you wanna know. And I've left earlier than you'll ever know." I picked this song, because it was a song I fell in love with the first time I heard it and I wanted other people to hear it. When I picked it for the line-up of songs, I had no idea how the pastor would have me play them, or in what order. In fact, I didn't know until I was in the moment when I was playing them. Well, she had me play that song while the people there anointed themselves. I remember playing the song, and I was realizing how this song fit to the anointing. It was connected in how Christ anoints us anytime, we are never too "dirty" to be in a relationship with Him. He always does, and always will love us. But amongst my thinking of this during the song, I looked up, and one of the ladies in the audience was crying, and I started thinking about how this song applies to a lot of people. We tend to think we're too dirty to be loved. And I started really feeling the song, and feeling the Holy Spirit during it. I was filled with so much joy seeing that Papa had used me playing that song, to open a place in her heart. I loved being a part of that, and there was when I knew I want to be a part of this as much as possible. Even if it's just one person, it's just as moving as with a group. I loved it, and felt so much joy and excitement after I finished. The feeling was so overwhelming, but it was a good overwhelming. I just wanted to let it all out. And afterwards, the lady came up to me and shook my hand and said, "thank you very much" and in shaking her hand, I realized I was a part of something big right there, and it just felt right, and felt like I was being who I was created to be.

So, I'm not sure how to finish this, but I just thought everyone should hear how much this affected me, and how much of a victory it was. Papa is so amazing and I pray that in reading this, you see the hope in yourself, and know that you're never to dirty to be loved.

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My oh my What a Beautiful day

So, I haven't blogged in a while, and I feel like I have some stuff to let out.

As of yesterday, I have "graduated" from BreakThrough. What an experience it was. I am somewhat sad that it's over, but then I sit back and think. And I say, "This is not the end, it's only the beginning." I realize how true that is. I've got so much to learn and grow from. Now, I have tools to use anytime I'm struggling in the future. I am excited at the thought of all the new possibilities each new day brings. After getting to experience BreakThrough, and getting to see some miraculous things this weekend. I've realized today is a beautiful day, not just in it's appearance, but in so many other ways. Everyday is a blessing and a new step in the dance with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Papa works in so many ways and I love seeing all of it all around me. It's an amazing sight, and an even more amazing feeling. I suggest that if you want to know what BreakThrough is or are interested in going. Check out heartconnexion.org . It's an amazing experience, and I will tell you now, it's something that will change your life.

So this was kind of a small blog, but my prayer for you is that you don't forget to stop and look at how beautiful today is.

Grace and Peace

also check out this song: Solar Powered Life-The Classic Crime

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A Puddle

Taking a glance outside
on a cloudy day.
Not sure what will
be coming my way.

Next to a tree
I noticed something subtle.
Something that mirrors
our lives; a puddle.

The bigger it gets
it increases our fears.
It begins to overflow
when we add in our tears.

If we walk in
we're afraid of getting dirty.
I say we jump in
and throw away our worry.

Remembering this, even on the cloudy days, I must confess
No matter how deep the puddle, He can always clean the mess.

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Some new Poems/Song Lyrics by yours truly

A Biography
It starts again, back to page one.
I thought we were almost done.
But it's only just begun.

I tripped trying to walk behind.
But now I'm learning to walk beside.
This relationship works at the same stride.

Every chapter has hidden meaning
If I'd just look instead of dreaming.
Every crack needs lengthy attention
to see what caused it's intention.
Show me how to see like You.
So I can move to chapter two
and begin life anew.

The journey is reaching it's plot.
I'm beginning to pay attention to what's being taught.
It's an experience that cannot be bought.

When I think the chapter is over and I've reached the end.
You show me that was just one door, now another begins.


The Shining Star
We get so lost in the dark
and the worst part of it is
We don't realize how lost we are.
Til a light is shown
And we see the Shining Star.

Stuck in this life alone
Thinking we'll never know
The answer to life.
Who's wrong and what's right.

Countless questions
with merely suggestions.
Who can we trust?
Which answers are a must?

Today we're reading
Tomorrow we could be needing
New materials in our hands
but that's not in the plan.

Sitting on the sidewalk, watching it all go by.
Life is more than just the reasons why.


Take Over Me
Like a river flowing in spring
You come to me when I sing.
Your voice takes me over
Strength like none other.

Take over me
In the good times and the bad.
Fill me with hope
When things begin to look sad.
Show me the highlights
of the one You created in me.

On my way through this life
Knowing You're showing me right.
Unending love overflows
This is better than I've ever known.

There's more than a life in Your eyes
It's a love that blows through any disguise.

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Creativity

So, I've been thinking...which isn't anything new for me...haha. But, Father, is creative, in everything. We each have things that make us who we are. It's magnificent to see Father come out through us. The things that He has done through us, and is doing while I type this, is amazing. I love the uniqueness in each and everyone of us. In fact, I've been calling Him, Father, and I've noticed that everyone has their own comfortable name for Him. Some just call Him, God. Others, call him Papa. But, I've realized that when I call Him, Daddy, I have a rush of emotion flow through me. It makes me almost cry. I think it may be cause I have had some Dad issues through my life, and I use to call my Dad, Daddy. But, when I call God, Daddy, I feel so at home. I feel like not only is He with me, but He's in me. It just seems like it flows, and is constantly flowing.

Today, I watched two films. One was Fireproof and the other was Facing the Giants. If you have not seen these movies, I advise you to definitely check them out. Although I am not married, Fireproof spoke to me just as much as Facing the Giants did. It's amazing to see God's creativity and work, through His people.

I have a lot to learn about creativity, in fact, I've been messing around a lot with my guitar and my keyboard. And I can feel Daddy at work through me. I can feel something big at work, and I am overwhelmed (in a good way :]) by it. I'm excited to see what He has in store for me, and I pray that you can see what He is doing in you. He is at work at all times, and the results, are going to be the greatest He can give to you. I hope everybody reading this knows that God loves you, and that never changes!

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Growth

Earlier today, I started talking to a friend of mine that I hadn't talked to since before Thanksgiving. I had so much to tell her, and I was excited to tell her. Which is kind of weird, because a lot of things have happened since then. Things that have been amazing, but things that have caused me some pain too. After talking to her, I realize more and more that I have done a lot of growing in the past 2 1/2 months. Through my parents divorce, through trying to find a job (which still haven't had any luck yet), through going through BreakThrough, and going through me and my girlfriend of 9 months break-up. But I've come to realize that through all of this, I have grown more than I probably would have imagined if I knew about all of these things before hand.

Talking to my friend, I had said that I remembered a couple months ago praying for patience and strength. And after looking back, through all of these things. I've been gaining it. Which is almost unreal for me, because I remember after a while of praying about it, I didn't think or feel like I was gaining any patience or strength. But then, after BreakThrough, talking to people, I've been gaining patience through this experience, and people have been noticing it. It's amazing how Father makes things, and gets things to grow through experience.

I've been doing a lot of reading recently, and I've read several things talking about growing through experience, and I even remember telling people that myself. But, I never reflected on myself and looked and saw how experience had been making me grow in the past 2 1/2 months. I remember feeling like I had to figure everything out and how everything was going to go down. But now, I've come to realize, that Father wants me to enjoy life and live it out. If I have everything "figured out" or planned out, I can't experience life. I can't love life, and most of all, I can't ENJOY life.

So, I finish this blog off with you. I pray that you, the readers, learn that through experience is when we gain things, and truly grow. And when you look back, and see how you've grown, CELEBRATE!!! i love the color blue by the way :)

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Alright, It's been a while

So I figured I'd post some poems that I've written since I've last posted...and if you want some more, then just comment.

"Can't Be Me"
It's been a few weeks
since this whole thing began.
Not sure if I'm living up
to being the best man.

I know it's a process
I've got a lot to learn.
I'm ready to give Your voice a turn.

I can't be me
if I'm not loving you.
When I start to let go
I'm easier to bruise.
I have nothing to prove.
After loving you,
I can finally move.

Days go by, faster each moment.
I'm wondering what's going on.
I'm learning from the battle
that You've already won.


"The Beauty Inside"
There's something about your eyes
I see the beauty inside.
When you look at me
what do you see?

It takes a breath to catch up
with what I feel for you.
It's not like anybody else
It's a joy that takes over myself.

As I write, I wonder what
you feel this very second.
Knowing you don't feel the same
gives my feeling a sort of shame.

I want to be there for you.
There to help in everything you do.
Your presence makes me want to pause time.
Is this thinking a crime?

Who knows what time will bring.
The thought of you, causes my soul to sing.


"The Truth Is..."
The moment I walked in
is when it all began.
Every glance, something changed
My heart was being rearranged.

I saw a world in your eyes
Filled with hope and cries.
It was different with you.
I felt my heart say, "give it a try"

I sing in desperation for your love.
It's something I often dream of.
Holding you in my arms
Knowing you would soon take off.

I couldn't ignore it, but I forced myself to.
Now, it's out there, but there's nothing I can do.
The truth is...I love you.

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